Not Another ‘Important’ Celebrity!  How will we go on without these people?  Pretty well, actually…

Sad, sad news folks…TV pitchman with the loud booming voice Billy Mays is dead.

Television viewers knew him as the OxiClean guy: the bearded, boisterous pitchman on commercials airing hundreds of times a week nationwide. “Hi.  Billy Mays here,” he would begin, before showing off his latest cleaning product or gadget.   He said got out even the toughest of stains, and Orange Glo, which he said shined up any wood around your home. “I love beautiful wood,” he tells customers (Add snicker here).

Family, friends and colleagues mourned Mays, 50, who was found unresponsive in his Tampa home Sunday, and awaited an autopsy to determine the cause of his sudden death.

Police said Mays told his wife he didn’t feel well when he went to bed Saturday night. Earlier in the day, he said he was hit on the head when his airliner had a rough landing at Tampa Bay’s airport.

I suspect foul play.  I suspect that the wife killed him.  I’m just amazed she put with that guy’s voice and mannerisms for as long as she did.  If I had to listen to his voice for a couple of hours aslone, there’d be a homicide…which ironically enough I could easily clean up with some of the cleaning products he pushed.  Circle of life, my friends, the circle of life…

So…let’s see what the figure of Death’s been up to recently, shall we?:

  1. Killed washed up, annoying sidekick/pitchman Ed McManon…CHECK.
  2. Killed washed up, annoying 70’s celebrity Farrah Fawcett (with ass cancer ta boot)…CHECK.
  3. Killed washed up, annoying 80’s Weirdo extraordinaire/KING OF PEDOPHILES Michael Jackson (giving him ass cancer to die of would‘ve be poetic)…CHECK.
  4. Killed super annoying TV Pitchman Billy Mays…CHECK.

Good Work!  But if I was say….Joan Rivers, Carrot Top, Donald Trump, Rosie O’Donnell, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters (really any of the annoying bitch/shrews from The View), Janeane Garefalo, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rush Limbaugh (And I‘m a Republican!) …I’d be looking over my shoulder for Death’s on a freakin’ rampage!  Go….Death!