The Copasetic Lounge

I’m half Irish, 3rd generation to boot.  Never understood/nor liked the whole pinching people not wearing green today thing.  Always wondered where that came from.  Here’s what I found:

It’s thought that the pinching started in the early 1700s, about the time that awareness of St. Patrick’s as a holiday came to the fore, too, in Boston, in the Massachusetts colony. They thought if you wore green, it made you invisible to the Leprechauns, which was good because they would pinch anyone they could see. So the pinching is to warn and remind you about the Leprechauns.

Pinching those not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day is an American tradition, the truth is,  St. Patrick’s Day is not even remotely celebrated over there as heavily as it is in the US.

Oh by the way, there’s a shamrock shortage this year (not kidding)…

Get ‘em while their hot…

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Yesterday was busy, more on that later.  Missed watching Lost last night, because I forgot it was on.  As I watch the rerun right now, I have some observations/comments about the show:

• This latest episode ‘Recon’ is all about that ‘Tom’ Sawyer guy (Jack Ford’s his birth name, but for some dumb-ass reason he goes by Sawyer.  Great writing out there in Hollywood I tells ya.  Every name in film, TV, etc. sounds totally Hollywood, as in porno fake).  Back to my point, that character really makes this show a soap-opera.  Besides him being a badly written, even worse acted character, he’s always shirtless for some reason.  making me think this is a woman’s show.  not good.

• I really friggin’ despise these ‘flash-sideway’ segments.  They really seem pointless and even if they have a point, they are really gay.  this episode’s one involving Sawyer more so.

• This show needs more action, less gayness, I mean drama.  more cool shit going on, more explanation of what exactly is going on, etc. etc.

• how come these people, when told by Locke/smoke monster/Satan?  that he is , in fact, the smoke monster, they just accept it like its no big deal.  No questions, really?  Because the first thing I’d think is oh hello, you’re the Devil.  Bye now.  I have to go.  But they don’t.  They are apathetic to the fact that they may be working with/for Satan himself.  How comforting.  Not a shred of reality, but comforting.

• Michael Landon from Little House on the Prairie on a TV in one scene is the best part of this episode.  that’s not a good sign when yer best scene is a replayed scene from another old, off-the-air TV show, is it?  Did you know he was Jewish?  He looks about as non-Jewish as I person can get (aside from the obvious curly dark hair).   I miss Landon he was a good guy…

• how many friggin’ people are on this damn island anyway?  how many guns?  and why do none of them look even remotely stranded?  they look well-fed (see The Fat Dude) even though they’re never seen trackin’ down grub, well-rested and downright attractive (see Kate).  These people have been stranded for years (well, originally, long story.  they actually got stranded, went back to civilization, then chose to come back.  if you can believe that.)  I’d like to believe if I was stranded on an island, I’d look/be half as well.  Hell, I wish I looked as well as they do now in my day-to-day life…

• To follow up my last point, they have no toothpaste, mouthwash, etc.  Their breath , as a collective whole, must smell like death.  Or an old lady’s crotch.  Which, if so, Death would be preferable.  No combs either, yet they’re hair is always neat and brushed.  miracle island, indeed!

• I miss the old, pre-dead Locke.  he was the best thing on this show.  as Locke/Smokey, Terry O’Quinn just isn’t menacing enough as a guy would it looks like is Satan…

How scary can you really be if you carry a teddy bear?

• How come every time you see a character in a show/movie with their face covered running, they always are a little boy or more shocking, an attractive woman.  how shocking!  I’d never suspect it…except for the fact that it’s cliche.

• Finally, the show’s over.  things resolved?  zero.  questions?  more of them.  point to the show?  Apparently, there isn’t one.

They look so disheveled…Or ready for they’re photo shoots by the pool in Cabo.

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Went to church today.  Been awhile, as there isn’t a decent one nearby.  It didn’t burn when I went in, so that’s always good.

Churches are odd places.  For example, in regular society, if several people suddenly came up to you wanting to greet you, shake yer hand and say hi, you’d question what they want from you, what they want you to buy from them.  But in church, this is normal.  And, I must say, they take such great pride in doing so.  when I was a kid in Catholic mass, I had a set system in place for the handshaking thing.  First, you size up the people sitting within handshaking range, figure out who’s not weird, creepy/pedophiley, or whatnot and that’s who you go after like pro teams in free agency.   Usually this worked to a tee.  occasionally, one of the weirdos though would handjump you before you had the chance to turn towards another (better, more agreeable?) person’s hand.  Yep, then you’d be stuck handshaking this weirdo til (thank you, Jesus) the priest signaled that handshaking time was over (longest damn 2 minutes plus of yer life, I swear).

Churches sure have changed since I was young.  When I was young (I sound like somebody’s grampa, though I’m not), church music was hymn-tastic, or hymn-centric?  Anyway, they only sang hymns.  and by ‘they’ I mean the choir onstage and us-the audience.  today?  it’s all Christian music…i.e. the stuff labeled as such in stores and on TV.  There’s a song master (worship master?  I dunno, what he’s called) on guitar leading the band/choir.  There’s even solos by singers sometimes (mostly females for some reason), who usually suck (they sing like they’re Mariah Carey or something.  sing within yer capabilities, I say).

There’s bright colors.  A light show.  Read-along lyrics! Will wonders never cease?  Pictures of Jesus?  The cross?  Anything religious on the walls?  Nope.  If you didn’t follow carefully, you’d think you were worshiping {plug in false god here}.  Maybe it’s because it’s ‘non-denominational’ Christianity, or as I call it ‘Christian-lite’.

When I was a kid, we got a lot of scary brimstone and fire (How come you never see that phrase written like that?  It still means the same thing this way, right?) sermons every week.  They talked bout sin and the 2nd coming which could happen at any waking (or, if you’re lucky, non-waking) moment.  In non-denom’ church, they focus on the sin, etc, I suppose, but it’s in a much more touchy-feely, Oprah-esque, self-help book, hug it out, bitch way.  Like, dude…do life like this and it will rock!

There’s a whole Christian ’sub-culture’ involved with gaining wealth from God known as ‘health and wealth gospel’, that believes that, basically, believes that if yer faithful, you’ll get yours (good job, buttloads of cash and a yacht).  Don’t even get me started on those idiots…

All in all, it went as well as it can go.  Now, the question is…when will I go back?

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Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Vag

A Florida woman recently caused an accident while on her way to visit her boyfriend. Police say Megan Mariah Barnes was driving and had her ex-husband take the wheel for her from the passenger’s seat while she prepared for a date.  While on the way to Key West, Barnes sensed that her vaj wasn’t smooth enough, so she decided to shave it. The Thunderbird she was driving slammed into the back of another vehicle and she kept on going. Cops say about a half-mile down the road Barnes pulled over and jumped into the back seat and let her ex-husband get in the driver’s seat.  Barnes was convicted of a second DUI and driving under suspension the day before, so she really didn’t need to get caught driving again.  But, of course, she did. Burns on her ex’s chest from the passenger side airbag proved he wasn’t driving when the accident happened. She was charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving with no insurance.  Now she and her shaved beaver are likely headed to jail.

Mr. Bigglesworth is NOT amused…

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Found this on the net:

Examples of how dumb people are…

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, CA  would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. ‘Understandably’, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5.. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.  When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer…. $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York Convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

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• Sandra Bullock wins an Oscar. All things are possible.  Hell might have frost.  “Did I really earn this or did I wear you all down?” she said. Good question, I go with the latter.

• Meryl Streep-16 nominations.  Really?  she’s that good?  or is the rest of the pack that bad?  Here’s the catch though, she’s only won 2 Oscars out of those 16.  Leads me to believe that the pack sucks.
  

• Listening to Jeff Bridges ramble when he won, I wonder if he was acting when playing “The Dude” in “The Big Lebowski.”

• Is anyone else troubled by the fact that people like: Mickey Rourke, Mark Wahlberg, Eddie Murphy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Winona Ryder, Will Smith, Brad Pitt, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jake Gyllenhaal, Matt Dillon, Uma Thurman, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Tilly, John C. Reilly, Barbara Hershey, Diane Keaton, Ethan Hawke, Burt Reynolds, Greg Kinnear, Queen Latifah, Nick Nolte, Kate Hudson, Edward Norton, and Tom Cruise have been nominated for Oscars since 95′?

• Or worse that these people actually won, if you can believe that: Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Benicio Del Toro, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Billy Bob Thornton, Roberto Benigni, Jodie Foster, Kim Basinger, Helen Hunt, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Dianne Wiest, and Jamie Foxx.  I’ve seen this people ‘act’.  Suffice it to say, I’m not impressed…

Next year's Best Actress. God help us all...

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As the two ‘good’ groups reunite on the beach, a submarine periscope pops up from the water. The bad guy Widmore is inside it.  Oooo…ominous!  It was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen on this show, and keep in mind the villain on the show is a ’smoke monster’…sad.  If this was the first time I had tuned in to see Lost, it would’ve been the last as well.  Whole thing was pathetically shot like a bad B-movie or a parody on SNL.  Here’s to hoping the last 11 episodes (9 episodes lus the 2-hour finale) don’t hit this low again…

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The District of Columbia joins Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont as the 6 places in the U.S. that issue same-sex couples marriage licenses.

Connecticut, New Hampshire and Vermont, I get.  They’re some of the most liberal blue states in the country.  Massachusetts started this whole ball rolling by becoming the first state to issue the licenses (In 2008, Massachusetts voters passed an initiative decriminalizing possession of small amounts of marijuana).  This and being the land of Kennedys, obviously says they’re a liberal bunch.  D.C. reelected Marion Barry (who, I’m not even joking, ran under the slogan “He May Not Be Perfect, But He’s Perfect for D.C.” ) despite the prostitute/crack bust by police (to quote him, ‘Bitch, done set me up’) so ’nuff said there…

But Iowa?  The Midwest? An area often referred to as the “American Heartland’?   The state that produced Johnny Carson and Donna Reed?  No idea.  Methinks something is in the water supply in that state.

With friends like Marion...

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Miss school.  it’s only been four days off and I miss the damn school.  well, I miss interaction with others, not so much the endless quizzes, pop quizzes, tests, midterms, papers, etc. etc.  I miss the good days as few and far between as they are.

I need to get stuff done around the house.  get my crap in order.  first step, no sweat:  write list.  that I can do.  It’s the actual follow-up that’s the kicker.  I tend to have problems doing that in my life.  that and I tend to get easily distracted and give up on things too soon when they go south.

I miss football.  I know I say that a lot but it’s true.  Currently, I’m really looking forward to the Draft next month.  I need more hobbies.  I like movies.  Bought Watchmen finally (guy at the cashier tried to talk me out of it).  Burn After Reading, The Reader (for the wife), Heartbreak Kid, Zodiac, and Traitor I bought recently (all discounted significantly.  I don’t usually buy brand-spankin’ new).

My sister has an exchange student from Japan living with her.  I only know this via Facebook, as my family never calls.  On Facebook, I learned mom’s OK (well, OK for her), and Dad’s supposedly getting regular cancer treatment (though I’ll believe it when I see it).

Lost.  That’s a hobby, right?  I avoided the damn show like the plague for its entire run but now I’m hooked.  I must be incredibly bored…TV-wise…to be watching it.  It’s bad guy is a smoke monster.  that’s sad.  I believe the show’s about good verses evil, Jesus verses Satan, blah, blah, blah.  We’ll see…

All my old friends have scattered after high school.  it’s tough to make friends in college (Hell, it’s hard to get half these idiots to return an email.  Note:  just cause I write you an email that says, ‘hey what did I miss in class last time?’ does not mean I want you).   Why are people so common sense dumb?  Most people (at least those that I’ve come across in my life) are either ‘book smarts’ dumb or ‘common sense’ dumb.  Rare indeed is the person who is neither.  Those people I tend to befriend.  ‘Book smarts’ dumb people are pull-yer-hair-out annoying as you have to dumb yourself down, use only the basic words and explain everything to them like they’re a retarded small child.  ‘Common sense’ dumb is frustrating because the people are articulate but dumb in the ways of society, for example, I know a kid that’s smart but doesn’t know how to pump gas.  that’s sad…

Pretty soon that Mike Judge flick Idiocracy will be reality.  Scary…

U.S. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, porn super-star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion.

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New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick’s daughter Amanda Belichick recently became an assistant coach at UMass.  She became a third-generation Belichick to lead others onto the field.  Her grandfather, Steve, was an assistant football coach at Navy for 33 years.  Her dad is going strong dishonorably year in, year out for 35 years.

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